Grandma Ruby

My heart is heavy today as we laid Grandma Ruby to rest. Benjamin and I have spent every Tuesday and Thursday with her for pretty much Ben's whole life. Spending that time with her was something I will always treasure. I just wish Ben were able to remember it. We shared funny stories, sang hymns or lullabies, read the Ensign or story books together. We marveled at babies (specifically Ben) and took long naps. Some days it was hard being there all day; I let myself be bothered with all the things going undone at my house while I sit in boredom at her house as her and Benjamin nap. It tried my patience at times when both her and Ben needed me. I felt overwhelmed and let my selfishness take over. But my time with her taught me compassion and patience; the kind I've never had to use before. I'm so grateful for that and will treasure my relationship with her forever.

Grandma Ruby taught me so much in the short time I knew her. I've heard many stories from family and friends of hers about how hard-working and feisty she was. She often told me she just wished that the Lord would let you live while you're being productive, then once you stop being productive, He'd let you die. That tells you the kind of person she was. 

We became really close almost 3 years ago when I was seeing her for physical therapy. Shortly after her therapy was over she asked me if I would start coming over 3 days a week to help her shower. She had a girl coming over but she was just so unreliable that she'd had enough. (She was never hesitant to give her opinion of you or anyone else) Having no experience in the area, I was nervous but agreed. I showed up at 8 am the first day on the job and said "Okay, just to tell me what to do." She said "Oh, isn't this your job?" I told her no and she said "Oh, well I've really got you out of your element here haven't I?...well you'll be fine, I'll tell you if you do something wrong." haha. And so it began. We kept our date 3 days a week for over a year before Benjamin arrived. I took a short break when he was born then by this time she was needing more care. That's when Ben and I began our Tuesday/Thursday visits.

During the summer months, Ben and I would take several short walks during the day to keep us occupied. Every time we would head out, I would say "Gran we're going for a little walk, we'll be back in 25 minutes. Do you need anything before I go?" She would reply with "No, I can't think of anything Dear. I sure wish I could go with you, I'll miss you while you're away." Upon our return she would ask if we saw or heard anything interesting on our journey. Sometimes if it was warm enough, we could coax her out to sit on the front porch for a while. We loved to sit in the sun and wave at  passers-by.

Her house was a prime spot to watch the 24th of July parade.

This was Ben and I's view many a Thursday afternoon.

She she loved music and always requested I sing. She rarely had a song request but never complained of any that I chose. She also liked me to tell her stories, which I wasn't as good at. She told me about growing up in Wallsburg and big events like getting indoor plumbing, a fridge and a car.

Tom often took her on rides around the valley on Sundays, so when I would get there Tuesday we would have lots to talk about. Someone at the bottom of the valley had a goat staked out near the road to eat the weeds for most of the summer. She was always concerned about him, saying "he looked like he was living on mountain views and fresh air". She had lots of funny sayings like that. She also often talked about the most beautiful golden chickens at the top of the valley and various people's flower gardens.

4 Hicken Generations

She always made sure I knew when Benjamin had too big of a bite in his mouth or if she thought he wanted something. She was always wondering what he was trying to tell me with every grunt or gesture he would make. She loved having him around. They would sit and wave back and forth to each other from their rocking chairs. I often wished I could have captured a picture of their sweet exchange. She often commented on how cute he was, especially his hands. She said baby hands were one of her favorite things. Sam would stop by after work and stay with us for a while. One day she was telling him how cute she thought Ben was. "One of the cutest babies I've ever seen, I don't remember you or your brothers ever being that cute, in fact I think you were kinda ugly!" We just had to laugh. What can you say when your own Grandmother tells you you're ugly?!

I wish I could remember all the random funny things she told me.

This is a picture of her and Tracy in June of 1940, just after they were married.

I don't think I've ever met anyone so faithful in the Church. She was always striving to learn and read the Gospel, even in her last days. When Ben was in the hospital, Sam was organizing a family fast/prayer. Given her age and health, we decided to just ask for her prayers. When we told her the situation, and asked if she would say an extra prayer for Benjamin that day she replied, "Well of course. I'll pray today, tomorrow, the next day and the next day!"
Her husband died over 24 years ago and she told me she couldn't wait to meet with him again. There was no doubt in her mind that they would be reunited through their temple covenants. She also told me he would be getting an earful from her at their reunion for leaving her down here alone so long. I chuckled at the thought of that on the day she passed away. She has been ready for that reunion for quite a few years now. One day last summer as her and Tom were getting ready to have lunch, she asked him to bless the food, and pray that she'd die. He was taken aback but proceeded with the the prayer. When they said Amen she said "Now look at me, do I look any more dead?" To her dismay, she did not. :)

When she would talk about dying I would kid her and say "Well Gran, there must be some reason you're still here, something left for you to do." Her reply was "well I wish I'd figure it out, I'd get it done by tomorrow!"

Despite her wishes, the days kept coming. The Sunday after Christmas, I stopped in to shower her and could tell she was not well. They put her in bed that afternoon for the first time in over a year. When I arrived Tuesday morning, she was still in bed and I could see she had given up. I called Tom and told him she needed a blessing. She was largely unresponsive, but I was able to communicate through yes and no questions. When I asked her if she'd like a blessing, her response was a clear yes. He gave a beautiful blessing, and at that moment I knew this would be the last day I would see her. About 3 hours later, she was released to go home. I knelt at her bedside and began to say a prayer. I immediately felt her presence and comfort from her telling me it's okay. Everything is great. What a bittersweet experience that was for me. Bitter, because you're never ready to lose someone dear to you. But oh so sweet, to know the pure joy she is experiencing now. She lived a full and purposeful life, and finally earned her wings.      

We love you Grandma Ruby, thank you for being you.